Okay I have a lot of thoughts and I am going to try to write this without rambling or confusing everyone so here goes.
Two Sundays ago out pastor cast his vision for church and it was big one; then on Friday at Connect Group we talked about the sermon. Everyone had good things to say and made some good points and in all of this I have been hit with some things. We talked about tearing down the church and rebuilding it to look more like the New Testiment Church. I think in order to have the church that has the vision we want than yes there has to be a tearing down of what church looks like now; but at the same time you do not what to tear down that church so fast the you distroy the God laid foundation. I think that we so often get ahold of a vision and the end resolute of something God wants us to do and we forget the steps to tear down and rebuild. Honestly for me right now I am stuck on the tearing down; how do you tear down a church without hurting the foundation? Right now the things that God keeps pointing me to see - Seek Him and Surrender. Seek Him - seek what he wants to stay and what He has put into place as part of the foundation. Surrender - everything; even my idea of what the church should or should not be doing and should or should not look like; to Him.
Seeking Him - this has been something that God has been challenging and opening my eyes to, and not just seeking Him but Seeking Him First. In book club we are reading a book about finances; and the funny thing is that it is challenging me in other areas of my life; not just finances. The author points out that in the bible God repeatedly asks us of put Him first, and he makes the point that with Sunday being the first day of the week it is a good opportunity to Seek God First in our week every week. By making Sunday God's day focused on what He wants us to do; not on what I want to do or do not want to do. That is blowing my mind - how much to I spend Sunday afternoon's focused on what I want to do... Give God the Whole Day and Seek Him First.
Surrender - this is a hard one for me. I admit I am a control person and a planner. I like to have a plan and know what the plan is; and I get really uncomfortable when I see no control and I want (and to often do) to step in and take control. So God has challenged that a lot lately. I need to surrender my plans - daily - to Him. With this has also come the realization and I assert to much control on family things (especially outings) and things with the kids. I make fun relaxing times so planned and controlled that I do not have any fun and I miss the time to enjoy my kids and husband and just play with them. So I am challenging myself to relax and Surrender my control and need for control to the Lord.
I am sure God is not done with me on any of this, but those are my thoughts and ramblings for now.